Crying, like eating, sleeping is a natural surviving trait of a living being. That’s why animals are also given this ability. We usually cry when we are hurt, physically or emotionally.
New born cries for survival, the message is clear, “Please take care of my “Needs” “. Showing love to a new born is his need just, like feeding, changing, bathing, sleeping. Love surpasses all emotions. It makes one feel better and brighter. When new born needs are not fulfilled, he cries in discomfort and distress. Thus crying is primarily the communication gadget at this stage.
Why does a 3 year old cry when going to school? There could be a number of reasons both physical and emotional.
Maybe the child is tired, didn’t get a good night sleep, and didn’t get a healthy breakfast to start off his day.
Maybe didn’t get enough time with his parents, or maybe he just simply needs that tight squishy hug.
Separation in every stage is one of the greatest maturity levels that one accomplishes at his own pace but when that level is pushed, distress comes in and results in insecurity, thus crying.
Parents usually ask me, “Why is my child crying?” I, too find myself asking the same question over and over again, not just regarding my own two precious babies but all my precious students too.
I ask myself that is the child comfortable with me? Is the child comfortable in the environment? Is he getting along with his peers and pals? Is the environment interestingly stimulating? Is he getting love?
Yes, children are definitely getting love from me…and sincerity too. If you ask me what each child in my class is doing, I will tell you like a recorded tape, their academic level and their emotional behavior in various situations. I know each of my children like the back of my hand. And yes, I am sincere. Sincere to their needs, their growth and development both academically and emotionally.
Usually I come to the conclusion that a child is crying just to get attention. Plain, simple attention or working out their parents in other cases. At 3 years old, the expected toddler behavior is “My way or no way.” It’s how they are trying to find their own limits by testing the limits of the adults around them. This is the age when they are developing their behavior and learning how people react to it.
I usually explain with kind words when a 3 year old is acting adamant. And surprisingly to many of you it does work. One needs to feel respected more than loved and once that understanding is build, relationships between a 3 year and a 30 year old strengthens. Though at times adults need to ignore and just go with the flow of things but yet at the same time making sure that stubbornness in toddlers shouldn’t become a habit instead it’s a phase that passes away if handled carefully.
Now if a 6 year old is acting stubborn and crying for no reason, then kind words are replaced by tough love. By this age if a child is stubborn, it usually means that the adult has been feeding on to this behavior and so along the way it has become a strong part and parcel of the child’s personality in most cases.
A stubborn child should also be treated with respect and love but more so given the space he needs to collect his thoughts. Boundaries and expectations of the adults in his life should be crystal clear. According to Dr. Maria Montessori, the child at this age is more like an adult.
Crying not necessarily needs to have a legitimate reason all the time. In all cases and circumstances a warm cozy hug given to the crier definitely consoles him and sends the message across that, “Somebody does CARE.” Love surpasses everything and all of us need that assuring hug once in a while, so think about children….they need it. Reach out to them.
Have you hugged a child today? J
Thankyou for sharing your insight. It was a good read and, It enhanced my perspective.
ReplyDeleteYou are very welcome:)I am glad it was of some help
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